


Shake

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I'M NOT DEAD, M/M, coda for 10x14, more like implied destiel?, not fluff at all, sorryyyyy i haven't posted in forever, there's hugging but that's all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3449945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is shaking everything around Dean, but the one person stable enough to hold him still is finally starting to shake, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shake

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY i haven't written anything in a month  
> i'm working on a huge project (15000 words so far) and it's been taking up all my time. i have no idea when or if i'll finish (it's a short term 12 au though)
> 
> also this is angsty because i had a fight with my friend and everything is shaking

Dean feels raw inside. 

The Mark gnaws at his stomach, making his body feel like it's filling with acid. The thing itself burns cold on his arm, the feeling eerily similar to Lucifer. He tries to shake that thought from his head, hoping against hope that the similarities end there.

But of course, they don't. 

He slides against the wall, finally letting his resolve crumble and the chill taking over. Dean shakes with the force of it, clawing desperately at his arm to make the constant pounding of the Mark go away. Nothing can soothe it, and he knows - but a part of him still wants to survive. The humanity in him, that's dead; but the hunter, every habit is so deeply carved into his skin that he can't not want to pull through. Dean fights, and it burns. You can only fight yourself for so long. 

 

***

 

The knock on the door sounds like a bomb crashing. His shoulders cave in further, clutching desperately around his knees as he tries to make himself small. It's not an easy task, but Dean has to try and be as tiny and meaningless as possible - he needs to leave the world with as little impact as possible, and this is just step one for him. Making himself small.

He doesn't answer the door.

 

***

 

An hour later, there's a different knock. This one is softer and shorter, almost as if the person outside was hesitating.  _Cas._

He doesn't know why the thought of Castiel makes him rise from his spot on the flooring, but it does. Dean stands, knowing that just a small panel of oak stands between him and the one person that can even slightly calm his urge to kill. That was something not even Sam could do. But Cas?

There is just something about Castiel that makes Dean want to close his eyes and rest. 

 

***

 

Shoulders slumped and eyes to the floor, Dean turns the knob. Cas takes a step back when the door opens, and Dean realizes that they would have been chest to chest if Cas hadn't moved. He wants Castiel to move back. 

 

***

 

"Hey, Cas," he tries to mock happiness for all of two seconds before Castiel's hand is on his shoulder. It's not commanding or rough, but gentle - Dean can barely feel it. 

"You are not well."

Dean's laugh rattles emptily in his chest. "Well, what can you do? Kinda have a lot on my plate, Cas." 

He turns back into the room, settling heavily against the floor again. He leans back against the edge of the bed frame, staring up at his friend. 

"We can fix this."

Something about those words seems familiar. "There's nothing to fix, Cas. This is the new-and-improved Dean Winchester." That hollow laugh escapes his lips again. Cas cringes at the sound when he steps further into the room, shutting the door softly. 

"Dean, this is  _not_ you," he sounds desperate; desperation is something Castiel has been dealing with frequently lately. Especially concerning Dean. 

 

***

 

"You're not broken. You are still Dean Winchester, the most righteous man in all of humanity," Castiel's voice has grown softer, and Dean can barely hear it even in the silence surrounding them. Cas is standing too far away. He's still barely inside, right next to the door. 

That's not right. He should be next to Dean.

_I need him next to me._

 

***

 

Dean stands up too fast. He feels dizzy, but dizziness is nothing compared to the itch in his hands to touch Cas. Dean just wants to hold him, to stroke his cheeks and run his hands down his sides and hold his hands because Cas' hands are shaking and they shouldn't be

shaking

_shaking_

still.

 

***

 

They stand together, just inside the door. Dean's arms are wrapped heavily around Cas' shoulders, gripping him tight and holding him hard enough to bruise his back. Castiel's hand rest warmly along Dean's lower back.

 

***

 

For a moment, the world stops shaking. 

 


End file.
